Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour

:iconrugmanpuff: More from rugmanpuff

More from deviantART


Submitted on
September 10, 2009
File Size
2.5 KB


4,206 (5 today)
There was this one day, a Sunday. In the morning the sun was shinning brighter than ever. The birds were chirping, singing their merry little tunes and flying through the sky with glee.  The wind was blowing, a nice easy breeze, one that whistled the tune of humpty dumpty. The day was glorious, it was as though all in the world was well and God was pleased.
Then came noon, all the birds started flying in circles, the wind was no longer calm, it was swift like rush hour. It passed violently through the trees and it sounded more like a grr than a whistle. The wind was obviously angry. Thick dark clouds assembled in the sky and all the merry little birds flew away in terror. The sun was nowhere to be found, my thought is that it was also scared so it hid behind the clouds.
Lightening flashed and thunder rolled, BOOM! The wind began to pick up speed, I had to hold onto a lamp post to prevent flying away. People were running around frantically and screaming to the top of their lungs, cats and dogs everywhere  were making this sort of high pitched noise and that's when it started raining cats and dogs.
I got soaked, obviously. As water trickled down my leg I thought I had wet myself then I realized I had bigger problems when lightening flashed so often it seemed as though someone was playing with a light switch. The wind was now roaring like a race car on the track about to take the gold and the trees were bowing down before it. At that moment I wasn't sure what was worse, listening to a tone deaf orphan sing or the thunder that now had the rhythmic boom of the song 'We Will Rock You'. terrifying
Tears whooshed off my face as the wind took the gold and my feet off the ground, I was thanking God for the lamp post when lightening struck not two feet away from me and  then my blood ran cold. There I was thinking that I'm about to die when the sun started peaking at me from behind a cloud.
The cats and dogs returned to Heaven, thunder and lightening packed their bags and the wind slowed down to stop and greet the fans. One by one the tree returned to their original positions, my feet to the ground and light to the day. The  storm had died and the trees were mourning it's death with a slow dance, the birds were singing, the sun was watching over everything and the wind was just passing by.
400-450 words
Question : Describe the sights, sounds and movements of a windy day you have experienced or heard about. Let the reader hear, taste, see, smell and touch what you have experienced.

This was an assignment for school, I don't like it but others do, I have to turn in it tomorrow. I think it's funny and weird, I'm use to writing narrative.
SO reader were you able to see, hear,feel, taste and smell?
Oh yeah yeah it was all made up.

Successful Descriptive Writing (according to my teacher)

Atmosphere - I dunno
Mood - um possibly
Sensory detail ( five sense) - check, sight,sound,feel,
Imagery - check
Literary Devices - check, similes,idioms,alliteration,onomatopoeia,personification
Adjectives - check
Add a Comment:
Sorren-Chan Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Hey I though me & that sevin guy were i you story, or is this another one?
rugmanpuff Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
well yeah see what happened was that I was writing about the wrong thing lol so you know...this one has no characters except myself but if I were to still be writing the other one you guys were the main characters
xenophobia08 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2009
I think the real problem you have with this writing form is the same one I am still trying to overcome. You need to write descriptive details so that they can be physically experienced. Telling others of your experience is only half the battle. The sentence, "The wind was blowing, a nice easy breeze," which, by the way, is not grammatically correct, simply tells the reader about the wind. Make the reader feel it: "Easily the wind blows past, whistling to the tune of Humpty Dumpty."
rugmanpuff Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
oh cool, cool thanks and how is it not grammatically correct?
xenophobia08 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2009
The comma there is unnecessary. "The wind was blowing a nice easy breeze" is correct. You could have also worded it, "The wind was blowing; it was a nice easy breeze." Either way, a comma after each of those and "and it whistled the tune of Humpty Dumpty" will finish your sentence more properly.
rugmanpuff Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
oh ok cool, thnaks!!
Add a Comment: